English by Ben Fogle

Author:Ben Fogle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2017-08-26T04:00:00+00:00

Of course Lord Buckethead isn’t the first unusual political candidate. Even in 2017 we had the wonderful Mr Fishfinger, who stood in the constituency of former Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron, mocking Farron throughout the campaign. When the result was announced, Mr Fishfinger relieved the gravity of the moment by making faces behind Mr Farron’s back and then declared that his own tally of 400 votes was a devastating blow. He said, ‘I’m absolutely shattered walking back to hotel for a few hours in the freezer then off to London in the afternoon thanks everyone.’

Lord Buckethead and Mr Fishfinger are part of a long tradition. As a child, I have vivid memories of a man wearing a top hat, leopard print coat and huge rosettes and badges screaming into a loud hailer. The legendary Screaming Lord Sutch.

In 1963, he stood for the National Teenage Party – advocating the right to vote for eighteen-year-olds – in the by-election in Stratford-upon-Avon brought about by John Profumo’s resignation. He only won 209 votes and lost the first of many deposits, but a pattern was set for the next thirty-five years as Screaming Lord Sutch and the Monster Raving Loony Party became a feature of every British election.

The party’s policies and slogans were mostly fanciful – ‘Vote for insanity, you know it makes sense’ – but the impact on real politicians was far from it. By getting up on the platform with Harold Wilson or Denis Healey, or offering to merge with the Social Democrats in 1980, Lord Sutch and colleagues made sure no one could take things too seriously, at least in front of the cameras.

He stood for Parliament thirty-nine times, garnered 15,000 votes over the course of his political life, lost more than £10,000 in deposits and incurred £85,000 in campaign expenses. His best result was in Rotherham in May 1994 when he gained 1,114 votes, only 200 short of the number required to save his deposit. Perhaps the most politically significant result was when he got 418 votes in Bootle in May 1990. The struggling Social Democrat candidate polled 155. The result convinced the party’s then leader David Owen that the breakaway party couldn’t carry on. To add salt to the wound, it was then that Sutch offered to merge the Monster Raving Loony Party with the Social Democrats.

There were so many aspects of Screaming Lord Sutch that define him as English. Not only was he clearly eccentric but he drank up to twenty cups of tea a day, and he held victory parties and concerts on the night before polling day to avoid disappointment at inevitably losing yet another deposit. Like I say, the English love to celebrate failure.

Another serial offbeat by-election candidate was Commander Bill Boaks, a retired hero of the Second World War. Boaks stood for election for over thirty years on the single issue of road safety. Ironically, and tragically, he died from head injuries while getting off a bus.

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party might be the most famous of eccentric parties, but there have been plenty more.

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